Jacob Daniel Turner

Jacob, You were the apple of mom and dads eyes. Even though you were so ill they did everything humanly possible to give you the most life could give you. I remember how mom would play with you, blow bubbles on your little belly and the wonderful laugh out loud laugh with that huge grin would resonate in the room :)
It broke my heart to see how you struggled so much just to eat,play etc. and then to go home and see your neighbor friend Eric, eat and play normally. I prayed all the time for you to catch up, to wish for the miracle for you two to be able to play together, only to see you pass. I felt so quilty and sad, that you were gone and your parents had to watch Eric grow. We have a great friendship with your parents and even though I have a hard time talking about you, I do think of you and your family often wondering "What If". Your picture is on my fridge forever to bring me a smile whenever I see your super big smile. You are forever missed Jacob by more people than you know.  Heres looking up to you with a big smile.

Jacob,

Please come down when you are not sick.  I love you all the time Jacob.  You are so kind and I love you.  You are so cute and smart.

I always think of Jacob, especially every August and every September.  Julie and Dan, your write-ups always bring tears to my eyes.  Jacob had the greatest smile and full head of gorgeous blonde hair.  He was so sweet, and I was alway enlightened when I got him to laugh.  I always wondered what could be going through his head.  I always loved when I was able to hold him.  Jacob lives on through his beautiful sisters, who even though they weren't born when he was alive, know who he was and are able to talk about him, which was evidenced when their grandma passed away in February, and they told me that grandma went to heaven to be with Jacob!

 

I know from my grandma Ann that the loss of a child is one of the worst things a parent can go through, and the grief never does go away--it seems to lighten a bit over the years, but it is always there. 

 

You're all in my heart, thoughts and prayers today, eight years after Jacob entered this world.

Jacob died and I miss him. I give a pink, red and blue balloon up in the sky. 

Happy Born on Earth Day Jacob

I want to thank all the wonderful people who were a part of Jacob's life.  We could not have gotten through the years without the wonderful support given by our loving, pediatrician (Dr. D) who wears her heart on her sleeve, the many therapists who worked with Jacob and never gave up hope, the many doctors and nurses who showed us compassion throughout every hospital visit, our neurologist who kept the humor in our lives (Dr. C).  We love you all and will never forget the time you spent with us and with Jacob.

We also want to thank our families for being supportive through all the pain and suffering they had to watch Dan, myself and Jacob go through.  We know that you all loved Jacob very much.  Jacob left this earth knowing that he was loved. 

Jacob still lives in our hearts and he lives on through our two beautiful girls.  They each carry traits that keep Jacob alive in our home today.  Lyndsey has Jacob's sparkling blue eyes and Cami has Jacob's beautiful smile and sweet personality.

Jacob, I remember 6 years ago when we were anxiously awaiting your birth.  We were so excited to begin a family and have you in our lives.

This month brings back a lot of memories of you.  You were so fragile and we took special care of you for the 2 years that you lived.

One of the memories that has been on my mind lately is when you would look up and smile.  We used to say that you were smiling at the angels.  We told you to tell them that you weren't ready yet.

I know you are smiling with all those angels in heaven and sharing your angel smile with all the new babies who join you each year.

My most vivid memories of you are when I would watch you watch for mommy as she moved through the house. Every time she came back through, your eyes became as big as saucers and you would smile and laugh when she smiled at you. I also loved to watch you sleep at night sometimes. Even though many of your days were filled with pain and anguish, you looked most peaceful when your were asleep. Watching you sleep would almost always put my mind at rest.

dear darling little boy  how priveleged iwas to be with you the times i was.  How much i loved to watch you smile . You were a beautiful boy, the cleft lip didnt do a thing but make you more endearing to me.  I remember feeding you and changing you and holding you and singing to you. I remember all the times i sat with mommy in the hospital and waited and waited and waited.  You were worth the wait and now you are waiting for me.  I know i will see you again and you will know me and i will know you because you are my only grandson and i am your only bubbe.

DREAMS......................................

 

I don't normally dream about Jacob but one to two times a year it happens.  The first dream I had of him was beautiful.  He was standing across a street and he was about to walk to me.  Jacob never sat on his own, he never talked, he never walked.  This was a beautiful dream because it showed me that he is walking now in heaven.

 

I most recently had another dream that Jacob was sitting in his stroller.  He was sitting up and alert.  It was time for lunch so we sat down somewhere and I fed him some grapes.  That was also a beautiful dream because Jacob never had the chance to eat much of anything that he might have enjoyed. He was happy and smiling in the dream and boy was he enjoying those grapes.

Jacob, there are so many many things that I remember about you.  I remember how you used to watch me walk around the room.  You would smile at me every time I passed by you.  I remember how you laughed at the cute girl in your favorite video.  I remember how much you liked to swing.  I remember how you used to stretch every morning when I picked you up out of your crib.  Most of all, you will always be remembered by your big beautiful smile.  Your smile must be making a lot of angels happy in heaven.